Alpha Friends

Prior to attending the Alpha course I had numerous unanswered questions and felt unsettled as my faith had waned. My state of mind would best be described as being mostly unhappy. My work colleagues were both obstructive and cynical in an environment that was suffocating. At the same time I was grappling through the emotional pain of my father passing away, which was then followed by that of my niece. Having grown up in a Muslim family I considered myself to be Muslim. I lived a care free life, living for the moment and not taking religion too seriously - until I was faced with the potential consequences of marrying a Christian. I prayed earnestly that I would be given a sign as to which was the true faith and thus determining whether I remained a Muslim or converted to Christianity. In 1992 I became a Christian and married my husband Andrew Lancaster. Not long afterwards I felt the Lord calling me into a closer relationship with Him. Initially I was terrified at what that would mean. I tried to dismiss the gnawing feeling by trying to shrug it off as no more than an emotional state of mind. But part of the terrified feeling made me pray for guidance and direction. Having just started attending the Sunday morning services at St Dunstan's Cathedral with my sister, Shenaaz, we were given an invitation to the 'Alpha Invitation Event'. I took it home to read but was reluctant to go as I was concerned about the sort of people we could expected to meet there. My sister had done the Alpha course at St. Dunstan's 11 years previously with her husband Sherwin and highly recommended that we do it - so we thought we would give it a try. Arriving at the Alpha Invitation Dinner my prejudices were totally unfounded. I was surprised to see that it wasn't as awful as I thought it would be - everyone seemed SO very normal! They were warm and welcoming, chatting with us as though we were friends. Feeling more curious about Alpha we decided to fill in the course registration form and do the course. Driving to the first evening of the course I felt uncomfortable as I was not entirely sure if this would be both boring and dull. We sat down for supper and the atmosphere was as warm and friendly as it had been the previous week. Afterwards we listened to a very well presented talk by Nicky Gumbel, on the historical evidence of Jesus, His claims, and the accuracy of the books in the New Testament. After the talk and coffee, we went into small discussion groups. In our group I could immediately divide it into two types of people - those who appeared happy and at peace, and those who appeared discontented and worried. It also came as a surprise at just how varied everyone's views were, and how were encouraged to chat freely no matter what our opinions. Driving home I felt lighter, happier and even noticed in the mirror a smile stuck on my face. As the evenings progressed I felt that at work I was now capable of elevating myself above the petty issues and able to confront challenges head on. I also began to think that I couldn't wait to tell my friends at work about the night before! But I wasn't the only person in our small group now feeling more comfortable with life! In no time at all we had become a band of friends sharing our philosophical thoughts, life experiences, light hearted anecdotes and random coincidences that in reflection seem more than mere coincidences. I found myself during the week counting the days until the next Wednesday evening and excited about what we were to learn next. The Alpha Weekend Away was the final fait accompli. I returned from it a committed Christian, strong in my faith with an intense love for God. Work colleagues would ask why I was glowing and appeared so calm against a background of office turmoil. I would reply that I had renewed an old friendship - my friendship with Jesus Christ our Lord and saviour. They would just give me a cynical smile and walk away. The clouds of darkness have passed and I still feel as though I am walking on air. My burdens are lighter now, with Jesus carrying most of my load. I FEEL ALIVE!!!